James O'Brien's Mystery Hour

00:02 This is a Global Player original podcast. 00:08 This is LBC from Global. Leading Britain's conversation. Mystery Hour with James O'Brien. 00:16 Oh, it's at that time already, five minutes after 12. Just to nod back towards the last hour, even now, even in Matt's news bulletin there, a senior conservative has said it's a shame that a former neo-nazi... Just listen to the words, lads. A senior conservative has said it's a shame that a former neo-nazi... What? Pardon? A former neo-nazi what? Won't be standing for us in a forthcoming election. 00:40 Anyway, thank goodness Kemi Badenaert never commits gaffes, because if she did, that would be really embarrassing, wouldn't it? There's a Labour councillor in the news as well, a former parliamentary candidate, no less, actually, not a councillor who's just been sent to jail for four years after using fake degree certificates from leading universities to gain more than a dozen senior NHS roles. So not confined, of course, to the Conservatives, problems with putative candidates, but only one of them is a former Nazi, and only one of them is now going to prison rather than being put on the council candidate's roster after coming out of prison for hate crime. 01:14 Which makes it quite a relief, doesn't it, that Mystery Hour is upon us once again, your weekly opportunity to achieve the sort of satisfaction not ordinarily available anywhere else on your radio. If you don't know about this... 01:29 If you are among the new listeners to this program, because you don't get figures like the ones that you have heard being reported today without, of course, drawing new people to the program over a period of years. 01:41 It's a shame they never. If I get when when when I get bad rage, it will be a new story. When my numbers go down, you will be able to read about it, not just on the sort of weird websites, but quite possibly these days in the right-wing newspapers as well. But when they're good, never a whisper. You'll never hear a single thing about it. It's why I have to blow my own trumpet. Because no one else will. But when they're bad, you'll probably read about it in The Telegraph. You'll probably read about it in The Mad. Just pointing it out. No violins necessary. Just a little indication of how bonkers our world has become. 02:15 And speaking of bonkers, I do actually have a brilliant missed information today, which I've completely forgotten to share with you. But you usually prefer it if I don't interrupt Mystery Hour with other nonsense. So remind me to do the nonsense tomorrow, will you? Because Mystery Hour is pretty close to sacrosanct in your radio listening. 03456060973 is the number you need if you've got a question that needs an answer. And there's an important bit of that sentence. It needs to be a question that you are confident must have an answer. 02:47 A mystery, if you like. A who, a why, a what, a where, a when, a wither. Even the occasional wherefore. art thou? And if you know the answer, then you ring in and provide it. And that's all that happens. It can be really quite serious. Someone can ring in with a question that demands a degree of scientific knowledge. It can be silly. 03:06 It can be somewhere between the two. It can be something that sounds silly and turns out to be serious. But the only thing it needs to be is something that will pique the curiosity of the rest of us. 03:17 as in someone will hear you ask the question and go, ooh, not every question, you know, you can't please all of the people all of the time, but there will be some questions in the course of the next 50 minutes that prick your curiosity. 03:31 And they don't get on the board unless the team think they're going to prick mine, of course. And very occasionally, they don't prick my curiosity at all, at which point I do a little bit of performative grumpiness and tell off my beloved and esteemed colleagues. To which there is not supposed to be a great deal of repetition. 03:51 And they don't really, they're not supposed to put through motoring questions. But I'm a much mellower man today than I was when I introduced those rules. So if they put through a motoring question, I don't really get cross. I pretend to be a bit cross because you like it when I do that. Or I possibly pretend... that I don't like repetition when, to be honest, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast, let alone what we did on the program last year or five years ago. But anyway, I can't remember what we did on the program at 10 o'clock most days by the time we get to 12 o'clock. 04:21 But anyway, that's how Mystery Hour works. 04:29 There's a game. In fact, there are two games. There's a board game and there's a travel game. And they can be yours for money if you go to mysteryhour.co.uk or for free if you submit the favourite, my favourite submission. I was trying to think of another word there because I'd already said submit. Contribution. If you submit my favourite contribution of the day, you can win a free one. A free Mystery Hour game, and you can pick either the board game or the tin. To find out more about that, go to lbc.co.uk to consult the terms and conditions, because this is a proper grown-up radio competition, as such is regulated by all the relevant authorities. 05:05 If you can't, if you don't fancy your chances or you don't win, you can buy one, and you can find out more about how to do that at mysteryhour.co.uk. I think that's probably it. 05:15 10 minutes after 12 is the time. Mystery hour is upon us. If you're unclear about what is about to happen, just stay tuned for a while and then decide whether or not you want to join in. But remember that there's no show without questions and there's no answers without answers. That doesn't work. There's no mystery hour without your questions and there's no point in asking the questions if you don't also provide the answers. I can do the banter in between, but the real magic lies, of course, in the quest for knowledge upon which we now embark together. 05:44 jamie's in catering jamie question or answer question please james good afternoon and you'll be pleased to hear it's not a motoring question and don't forget missed information tomorrow i won't thank you very much other than that other than that carry on so basically i'm approaching 50 very close to 50 and i'm i've never worn glasses in my life but recently i've started wearing reading glasses and i've noticed that if i push my glasses off my head 06:09 Yeah, as you do. 06:12 Sometimes, after a few minutes, I'm not sure whether they're still on my head, and I go to tap, and sometimes they're there, and sometimes they're not. So what causes the feeling, and I'm pretty sure this is common, what causes that feeling of maybe they're still on your head, like a nerve thing on top of your head? So it's almost like you almost feel like they're still there, and when you tap, they're not there. But sometimes they are there. Does that make sense? 06:33 No. 06:34 No. 06:37 Maybe it's just me. I mean, no, honestly, I'm pretty sure this is quite common. I think there's like, you know, almost like a ghost lip. 06:44 So I've actually got some glasses with me. So you mean when you push them up onto your forehead? 06:48 Yeah. You put them above your forehead, so maybe on top of your head. Oh, like a cool person. No, I'm not cool. 06:54 I don't do that. My head's too big, I think, because it will fall off. I've got an enormous head, both physically and metaphorically. Absolutely gargantuan, my noggin. 07:03 So you've got them on your head. I'm pretty sure it's common. 07:05 So you say to yourself, oh, my glass is on my head. I know. I'll just listen to my feelings. 07:10 I'll tap. Yes, exactly. 07:12 And you think, yeah, they're on my head. And then you think, I'll just double check. And you tap your head. And lo and behold, your glasses aren't there. But your feelings told you that they were. Exactly. And you think that's a mystery suitable for Mystria, like ghost glasses. No. 07:26 I'm not. Ghost limbs, ghost glasses. Why not? I don't know. Do you not think so? 07:32 Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to take the mickey because I'm already getting loads of messages saying that, yeah, I get this as well. Ben said it. Jason said it. I have the same thing with Christmas paper hat, says Callum. There you go. There's a left field contribution. 07:44 If it's been on your head, I feel like you can kind of feel it still there or if it's been there. I don't know. 07:49 We have to ask King Charles about his crown. Do you think he wanders around sometimes thinking he's got his crown on and then he walks past the mirror and he goes, oh, bloody hell, I forgot to put my crown on. Yes. We will probably, Jamie, we'll probably never know the answer to that. But let's try and get an answer to your question. 08:03 I watched The Audit last night as well because I know you said about how amazing, that is an amazing film. Did you love it? Incredible. 08:09 Incredible. Just steer clear of all the nonsense, all right? Because everyone's got to have an opinion on the Odyssey. My opinion is it's brilliant. Go and see it. I don't care about how faithful it is to the Homeric original or whether they should have filmed the Aeneid instead or whether or not the women are misrepresented or the men are too dimensional. It's a flipping movie. I go full kidderminster sometimes. It's a movie. Go and see it. It's great. 08:35 Stay safe, Jamie. Sarah's in Halifax. Sarah, question or answer? I've got a question, James. Carry on. Do you know what I've just done? What? I've just drawn a little picture of a ghost and a little picture of some glasses. That's the first time I've ever done a pictogram for a Mystery Hour question. I normally write down one or two words to remind me what the question is. But I've just done a little picture of a ghost. To be honest, if I look at that later, I won't think it's a ghost. I think it's a jellyfish. Who asked the question about, do jellyfish wear glasses? What's that about? Anyway, carry on, Sarah. 09:05 Sorry. 09:06 Well, I'm hoping you won't draw a picture of my question. 09:09 Highly unlikely that I would be able to. 09:12 OK, my question is, my husband and myself were on holiday last week. 09:16 Yes. 09:17 And we were sitting, having a drink, and we were commenting on, why is it acceptable on holiday to walk around and effectively watch bra and knickers and a see-through dress? 09:28 But you wouldn't... Just for the record, I've never, whether on holiday or not, walked around in my bra and knickers or a see-through dress, Sarah, so let's not generalise. 09:38 But you wouldn't do it with... 09:40 Why, just because it's a bikini, make it acceptable? 09:45 I mean, you're coming at it from a sort of public decency angle. 09:49 Yes. 09:50 Whereas, in some ways, the answer's quite pragmatic. And so the original answer will be, because you're near the sea, so you're wearing the things that you wear to be in the sea, and then you're keeping them on when you're no longer in the sea. And obviously that creates a context in which, even if you haven't gone into the sea... 10:09 and you feel a desire to walk around scantily clad, you can, because the people who are in the sea are all walking around scantily clad. So I think it makes sense. 10:19 But what about the people that I've seen in land, in supermarkets, wearing exactly the same thing? 10:27 But they're not necessarily on holiday. Maybe they do that all the time. And also, it's been very hot lately. So acceptable is an interesting word, isn't it? Because, you know, I've been watching some, I was flicking through the television the other day, and I stumbled across a program. 10:42 And it was a bit one of those sort of, it's not just, Channel 5 actually does some really amazing stuff these days. But in my mind, it's still associated with the kind of stuff it did when I was on it every day. And that was quite low rent, obviously, because I was on every day. And I stumbled across a program, one of those kind of secret lives of, and there were some ladies in it who weren't wearing much at all. And they weren't doing anything. They weren't near the seaside. They weren't on holiday. I think one of them was planning a wedding. So, I mean, if it's not because it's hot and because you might be going for a swim, then I don't know what it is. 11:20 Well, I need the answer. 11:22 Well, that is the answer. It's because it's hot and they might be going for a swim or they're in an area where everybody else is thinking of going for a swim. I mean, the supermarket question is not acceptable, in my view. You shouldn't be going around the supermarket in a bikini. In fact, there are often signs up for men saying you have to wear a shirt in here. So I think the answer is just the weather and the seaside. It's what you wear to get a suntan, isn't it? There you go. Boom. It's what you wear to get a suntan. 11:50 Not if you've got a see-through dress over the top of it. 11:52 Well, now you take that off in a minute to get a suntan. You're just wearing it to, you know, be a little bit more acceptable on your journey from the bit where you're getting a suntan to the bit where you're getting a drink. 12:05 You wouldn't put on a heavy dress. You wouldn't put on an anorak or a cagoule, would you? 12:10 But why then? Because it's hot. Why people just not go swimming in Borough Knickers then? 12:15 Well, they would, but it would, you know, it would chafe later. Because it would be damp. It would. It would chafe. I mean, I think it's pretty simple. The Victorians wouldn't do it because the victorians were much more prudish than we are but as we become less prudish it's become more acceptable to keep your swimmers on when you're no longer swimming and of course to suntan we now like to suntan so you wear as little as possible to get an all over tan i'm going to give myself a round of applause thank you very much I thought it got lost there. 12:49 I thought it got lost on the way to the show. 12.17 is the time. You can embellish that answer if you want, but it is obviously linked to what you're doing at the seaside, which is either swimming or suntanning. And, therefore, the kind of mood, the sartorial context is one of little clothing. So you're more like, you're going to stand out more if you're wandering around in a three-piece suit, aren't you, than you are if you're wandering around in your speedos. Never wander around in your speedos. 13:18 It's 1219. You're listening to James O'Brien on LBC. Explain, if you would, the phenomenon of ghost glasses or indeed ghost Christmas hats. 13:27 You've had something on your head. It's no longer on your head. But if you stop to work out without checking whether or not it was on your head, you'd conclude that it was still on your head. I don't know if that's a very good question or not, but Jamie seemed like a lovely bloke, so it's on the board. Sarah also seemed lovely, but I think we've put her question to bed. Why do we dress in so few clothings when we're on our holiday? Answer is that we're either going to go for a swim or trying to get a suntan. And the see-through dress, not really a red herring. It's just a very light and diaphanous gown that you slip on because you want to be able to slip it off again very easily and not get too hot in the process. 14:00 Alistair is in Stornoway, lovely part of the world. Alistair, question or answer? 14:04 Hello, sir. Question. 14:05 Carry on. 14:06 Why are craters round? 14:09 You mean on, like, the surface of planets? 14:13 Yeah, the moon, the earth, the wherever. 14:18 Well, I mean, if you throw something... Trajectory. At something... 14:29 I'm not going to lie to you, Alistair. I'm not on my strongest. I'm not at my best on these sort of questions, but I like to think I get there in the end. So what you have here is a question about cause and effect. You might want to pull up a chair. 14:48 Good. So what are craters caused by? 14:53 Well, a meteor. And what shape are meteors? And what shape are meteors? 14:59 Every shape under the sun? No, they're all round. 15:02 No. Yes. No, they're not. They are. No, no. Some are cigar-shaped positively. Okay, all right. 15:07 Yeah, cigar works. If a cigar shape hits the ground, it's going to create a circular impact. And the reason why they're all round... No. Yes. The reason why they're all round is because what would happen if you put some bricks in a washing machine? 15:22 What shape would they be when they came out? 15:26 Er... 15:27 Round, but space isn't a washing machine. 15:30 That's it, round, thank you. Space isn't a washing machine. Space is a washing machine for the purposes of this illustration. So all the bricks in the space have become round by dint of friction and collisions. 15:46 What friction does Halley's comet get under while it's travelling round its orbit? 15:50 That is not relevant. 15:53 So anyway, all the round things floating around space, one of them hits a planet, bish, bash, bosh, you've got yourself a crater. What shape is the crater? Same shape as the thing, what? Hit it, ergo, round. Ergo, round. Or hang on a minute, circa, circa, as the Romans would say. 16:11 Oh, you mean the trajectory is perpendicular? 16:13 Yeah, if the trajectory of a ball... Well, they're probably not all like round, round. 16:17 They're not going to be like perfect circles, are they? 16:22 But hear me out on this one. If a round ball drops 90 degrees vertical to the surface, it would create a round hole. Yeah, boom. But comets travel at every degree possible. It's impossible to come into this planet on a 90-degree axis because it would heat up and burn away. 16:40 Yeah, but they're spinning. 16:43 Right, okay. If I throw a round ball into sand at an angle... Yeah, yeah. it would have a trajectory and sand would go in the direction of the ball away from it. 16:55 Yeah, but the bottom of the indentation would be circular. 17:00 Yeah, but there'd be a build-up of more sand on one edge. 17:03 How do you know all the craters don't have little tails? You just don't notice them. 17:07 But every crater you see has a round circumference. 17:12 It's round. Yeah, but it might have a tail, like a tadpole. I mean, what shape is a tadpole's head? But they don't. The ones we see are round. 17:20 What shape is a tadpole's head? 17:23 What shape is a tadpole's head? 17:25 Round. 17:26 Did you expect to say that today? 17:28 And it's got a tail. It's got a tail. So it's got a round thing and a little tail on it, like a crater. 17:33 Are you basing your proof on a tadpole? 17:35 It's the tadpole theory of craters. I can't believe you've never heard of it. I thought you were an expert. 17:40 OK, we'll go with that then. But could you put it out to the punters, please? Of course I will. 17:45 centrifugal force i don't know i'm just saying words now i will i will come down and shake your hand if it is the tadpole theory right i'll buy you dinner why the greatest round oh three thank you alistair stay safe oh three four five six six oh nine seven three is the number you need um you're sending me words now he's gone so i'm not just going to say them again hypervelocity explosion it's the name of my first but no it's not maya is in brentwood maya question or answer 18:15 Question please. 18:16 Carry on. 18:19 Hello? 18:20 Yeah, in your own time. 18:22 Right, so what I wanted to know, I don't know why I want to know this, but what I wanted to know is why do people up north... have names like Ramsbottom, Gimshaw and Shuttleworth. Shuttleworth. We don't have those names down south. 18:42 Well, I mean, some people have moved. So, you know, I don't want my inbox to fill up with people called Ramsbottom or Shuttleworth who live in Surrey. Yeah, I don't want to offend anybody. But they are northern names. So you're saying, why do northerners have northern names? 18:56 Yes. 18:57 Yes. 18:58 And I did look into it once all the time. Did you? Yes, because I've been watching it for many years. And I think once I read that there might be something tenuous with Vikings, who might have been called like Rowbottom or something. Oh, yeah. then their name's kind of more. So that might be an answer, but I'm not convinced. It's never, no one's ever conclusively. 19:22 Well, can we put some other names on the list? So we've got Ramsbottom, what was the other, Grimshaw, did you say Grimshaw? Grimshaw. Grimshaw. 19:29 Yeah, and Shuttleworth. 19:30 Shuttleworth. We've had Grimshaws in Coronation Street, I think. 19:34 Exactly, yeah, Coronation Street was an inspiration for this question. 19:37 Duckworth, Duckworth, you get many Duckworths. You've got the Duckworth-Lewis theory of assessing cricket scores if the game is called off early, so maybe that's not a good example. Tilsley, Ogden. 19:51 I think Grimshaw's a good one. 19:53 Grimshaw's perfect. You're very unlikely to meet anyone called Grimshaw who doesn't sound like they could appear in a Wallace and Gromit film. 20:01 yes grimshaw mr grimshaw and i love the names and i embrace them i love them as well they make me proud to be english yes exactly all right so i mean some of them will be villages there'll be little villages that have but then why is everyone what yeah northern names all right you're on well what's the question again what why why do they have names like grimsbottom and shuttleworth when southerners do not 20:27 Yeah, why do they only have them up north? 20:29 It's going to be geographical then, isn't it? So you're right, it's either going to be because of human heritage, so Vikings. 20:37 Yeah, but let's talk about it. 20:38 We are. Or Clutterbook, Sidebottom. 20:43 Burnham. Burnham. No, Burnham. There's a Burnham in Somerset, isn't there? There's a Burnham on Sea. 20:48 Yeah, in Essex. There's a Burnham on Crouch or something, I think. 20:52 Burt Whistle. 20:54 Yeah, there you go. That's a nice one. Arbuckle. Arbuckle. That was an American film star called Fatty Arbuckle. Yeah, okay, you're on. I think everyone knows what we mean by a northern name. 21:05 Why do they only really appear in the north? I like this question, although I won't be astonished if we don't get an answer. 0345 6060 973 is the number that you need. It's 1227. Miranda is in Sheffield. Miranda, question or answer? 21:24 A question, please, James. Carry on. It's about sunglasses. 21:28 Oh, yeah. Polarising sunglasses. I can't do a pictogram for your question because I've already used up spectacles for one pictogram. Sorry about that. I'll just have to write sunglasses. Go on. 21:39 Apology accepted. So polarising sunglasses specifically. So I've recently started wearing polarising sunglasses while I'm driving. 21:46 Right. 21:47 And I noticed that when I'm wearing them, both my rear windscreen and some other people's rear windscreens have a kind of grid pattern on them it's like it looks like lots of rows of white squares really so so it's as if the grid was in um negative space and the the squares are all sort of in white and it's not every windscreen it's only some of them so i know i can only have one question so you can pick for me so either it's Why am I seeing a grid pattern with the polarising sunglasses on? 22:21 Or why am I only seeing it on some windscreens? 22:26 Remind me what polarising sunglasses are. Ironically, as a polarising radio presenter, I need a reminder. 22:33 You know, I thought you might ask me that. And this, I think, I fear may be the crux of my question. I don't really know what polarising means. 22:41 In the context of sunglasses. You do in the context of radio. 22:45 Yeah, I think the answer might lie in what polarising is and what the lenses do. 22:50 Yeah, all right. So you see grids on the back of car windows. 22:54 on the rear windows of cars rear windscreens of cars and it's not going to be linked to the it's not going to be linked to the heater you know the little do they still have those on cars i can't i don't think they do my dad's old i always remember the little mini radiator to d misters where they yeah i have that on my car but my car's what 2005 it's not linked to that it's your heated rear window the heating element on your rear window 23:16 I mean, it could be, but it's like a grid. It's not just lines. It's vertical lines as well as horizontal. Okay. 23:23 Well, that might be something to do with the lenses. So I bet the root of it is the heating. 23:28 And the polarizing lenses might explain the vertical lines. Anyway, I don't know what I'm doing. Is this a motoring question? 23:36 Sorry? Are we sure this isn't a motoring question? 23:40 No, it's a sunglasses question. 23:42 Yeah, you're right. My bad. Thank you. That's a relief. It's half past 12. 23:46 Amelia Cox is here now with your headlines. 23:49 12.32 is the time you're listening to James O'Brien on LBC, where Mystery Hour continues. Bunch of questions on the board. We'll get a few more up, then we'll start doing the answers. If you are in need of a reminder, we want to know why all craters are round. It's going to be... It's probably not got anything to do with tadpoles, but there is a helpful aquatic illustration. It's going to be the same reason why. If you throw a square brick into a pond, you're not going to get square ripples, are you? The ripples come in. 24:21 I reckon that is the reason why craters are round. The same reason why when you throw a brick, from whatever angle you throw a brick into a pond, the ripples are going to be circular. 24:33 But I need someone who's cleverer than me to explain it better than I've managed to. I think May has answered her own question, but I'd love an expert to get on. It'll be Mark, won't it? Up in Cumbria, I think, who's probably got the answer to this one. It will be to do with the names that were settled. So Vikings probably, in many cases, settling the north much more than they settled the south. Ireland is extraordinary for Viking heritage. I had no idea, and I'm Irish. I went on a brilliant tour in Ireland. They've still got those buses that can turn into boats. We used to have them in London, but I think there was a terrible accident, so they got rid of them. 25:07 But they've still got them in Dublin. 25:09 I think they're called duck boats. And there's a Viking duck boat tour in Dublin that I highly recommend. But I had no idea how much of Irish heritage and nomenclature is Viking in origin. It was absolutely fascinating. But, of course, they didn't come that far south. because they generally stuck where they're quite nearby where they'd landed in their boats, long boats. 25:31 So that, I reckon, is going to be part of it, why you have some names northern and you're much more likely to meet someone whose name is descended from a thousand years ago in the area where their ancestors lived. I think, I don't know. 25:45 uh craters why do polarizing sunglasses make the rear windows of cars look like grids and that's it really or the summer clothes a couple of people suggesting i may have been a little bit previous with sarah and that she was actually asking why are you all right to wander around in a bikini but not in your bra and knickers i disagree i don't think that's what she was asking i think she was just asking about the amount of flesh that's on display but feel free to um to Steward's Inquiry, that question as well, or that answer as well to your heart's content. 26:16 Right, Tony is in... Good Lord, I've never heard of this place before, and I grew up in the neighbouring county. Edwin Ralph is a place. 26:24 Edwin Ralph is a place, yes. 26:26 Edwin with a D? 26:28 Yes. 26:28 Edwin Ralph. Was it a person originally? 26:32 It sounds like an old blues singer, doesn't it? Edwin, doesn't it? No, I think it was two vicars or two religious... 26:41 types. 26:41 Crikey, where is it near? Bridge North? 26:44 Oh no, that's Shropshire. 26:45 Where is it near? Hayon Y? 26:48 It's about 15 miles from Bridge North. 26:50 Oh is it? So it is quite near Bridge North. 26:53 Yeah. 26:53 Okay, carry on. 26:56 I've got a question for you. 26:57 Good man. 26:59 One for the sniff test. 27:01 Yeah. 27:02 Why is it when you walk past a gent's toilet, it really smells pretty bad, you walk past a lady's toilet and 27:11 And it's okay. 27:21 Well, I think it's obvious, isn't it? 27:25 Well, I don't know. Yeah, probably. 27:33 Ladies don't... Ladies don't miss. 27:37 No, um... 27:39 Yeah, it's probably something to do with the ladies' glow, isn't it? A horse's sweat. No, it's not that. 27:46 It's they don't miss the toilet when they're weeing. 27:49 And we do. So, you know, I mean, unless you're cleaning it every day, several times a day, and of course many establishments don't do that, some do. The reason why men's toilets smell and ladies' toilets don't is because there's a lot of wee sloshing around on the floor. 28:06 Yeah, well, speak for yourself. LAUGHTER 28:09 Well, I'm not. I'm not speaking for myself. I'm speaking for men in general, and all men and all women. 28:15 So that's the answer. 28:17 Yeah, that's pretty good, actually. Thanks very much. 28:19 Cheers, Tony. I'll take a round. 28:21 Okay, James. Yeah, take care. 28:22 Top man, you too. Great stuff. 28:27 So, round of applause, please. 28:32 John's in Forest Hill. John, question or answer? I have a question, James. Carry on. 28:38 Why do we use Latin and English for before Christ? 28:44 Why wouldn't we? 28:46 Well, why don't we just use Latin for both or English for both? I think I know this. Go on. 28:53 Well, for a start, they don't say Anno Domini anymore. They say BCE, don't they? Before the Common Era and the Common Era, because it's a Christian-centric way of... But that's not the answer. That's not the point. And the urinal smell as well, don't they? Sorry, I'm jumping back to the urinal smell. 29:10 I don't know. Anyway, it's all to do with wee wee. That's the answer to the last question. So here's the thing, right? Anno Domini was the term used to name the year. It literally was while you were in that year for a long time. So when the country was largely illiterate, the language of religion was Latin. So it would be the year of our Lord, 1633. That's what they would say. They called it that. They didn't really need to call the bits before it started anything. 29:42 It was probably only in about the 19th century that they started displaying interest in what had happened before Christ, as it were, or before the Common Era started. So by then we were speaking English. We weren't conducting ourselves in Latin all the time. Official documents and religious tracts would all be in Latin. But by the 19th century, they weren't. You know, that's why the novel became popularized and publications would appear on late 18th, early 19th century. So English was, if you like, the lingua franca by then. 30:15 So they reached a point in history studies where they wanted to have a nice phrase to describe prehistory or prehistory. 30:24 You know, history starting from before the common era or the years of Anno Domini, but because English was by then our preferred language, they just named it in English. So it was known as BC, before Christ, as opposed to AC, which would be the Latin, which would be Antichristus. 30:42 Special qualification? Yeah, qualification, classical education. Right, OK, sounds good to me. It's pretty good, right? Excellent. Oh, yeah, thank you very much. I'm knocking it out of the park today. I haven't done this for a while. I should probably wind my neck in now. Another round of applause, please, Jack. 30:57 Thank you very much. Don't panic. Keith's on holiday. 31:00 Joe's in SIGCUP. Joe, question or answer? 31:02 I've got a question. Carry on, Joe. 31:05 I'm a primary school teacher and often find myself in front of 30 little people reading a story. And when it gets to the character and they're sleeping, it is always indicated by the letter Z or repeated Zs. And it really annoys me. Why? Because who do you know goes to sleep and sounds like... That's more like a bee. 31:29 It's a bit personal. 31:32 I asked who you knew, not if you did. Yeah, I know. But it would be a bit personal as well, wouldn't it? 31:36 Imagine if Mrs O'Brien did that. And I told you now, it'd be embarrassing on every count, wouldn't it? For the record, she doesn't. 31:43 But it does sound like that. 31:45 It does sound like that. It does not. I went through the alphabet in my head, and I thought, no, see, that... No, that... Do the exhale now. 31:55 Do the exhale now. So you go like this. 31:59 I would say, no, that's an E-R. No, you're making it up now. You're trying to make it fit. 32:07 Z. 32:09 That's what the noise is. That's where it comes from. 32:11 No, I'm going more, ooh. What? Or, mm. 32:14 You just need to see a doctor. 32:18 How would you spell snoring? I would go, mm. That's bistro. That's gravy adverts. You can't be doing, mm, mm, bistro. 32:27 It's a zzz. 32:29 I might go a bit like letter L's, like... No, that sounds weird. 32:34 It's obvious. This isn't a mystery, Jo. This isn't a mystery. It's not a mystery. 32:40 The Z is definitely a sign to buzzing bees, and they've stolen that for sleeping. 32:46 No, it's not at all. I mean, you can do both. I'm irate. Well, yeah, but it is... 32:51 No, it really isn't. Honestly, go around listening to people sleeping. They do not sound like this. 32:59 They do. They're more like that than any other letter, as you've just accidentally proved. 33:02 No, no, I've gone through all the letters. 33:03 So you're letting the perfect be the enemy of the good here. So you're not going to go, ah, and you're not going to go, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh 33:22 See, the only thing I actually came up with about this in my 2am time was that perhaps... Bisto is R. Bisto is R-bisto, not M-bisto. 33:32 R-bisto. So you can't have R either. 33:35 Go on, what did you come up with? 33:37 Well, I was just thinking, is it like, you know, if you're counting sheep, but instead of counting sheep, you'd say the alphabet, and by the time 33:44 you get to the Z you're just like over it I like that it's a good theory it's wrong but it's a good I like it I like it it's not because it's not a sound thing it is a sound thing it absolutely is it is you know when you read the terms and conditions on something and it says something like the management's decision is final you know that right yeah that's where you are now that's where you are now Jo 34:05 Well, you record somebody sleeping that sounds like a zzzz and play it next week. 34:10 I will, actually. I'll do it now. Eleanor, could you find me a clip of someone sleeping and the sound sounds like a zzzz, please? 34:17 Me and Joe will wait. How long do you think you're going to need? I'm going to find it for you and then that'll be it. That'll be game over. Months. This won't take months. Can we get that, do you think, before the break? 34:25 You're going to make this fit. 34:27 We come back after the break with that or can we find it before the break? There, you snorted then. How would you spell that? 34:35 God knows. See? It's not that easy, is it? Writing children's books and coming up with noises. So Z is the best that's available. They're Bs. They're Bs. Okay, think of another letter. Okay, you need to put six letters in a row, right? Yeah. Who's just pointed this out? Callum. 34:52 Six letters, yeah. 34:53 Six letters in a row. There's only really one. It would be an S or a Z, and an S is a snake. 34:58 I would go, hmm... 35:00 No, but that doesn't sound like sleeping, does it? 35:02 No, but that sounds like the sound you make just before you go to sleep because you're so happy. 35:06 That's not what they're trying to convey, is it? Also, some people go to sleep miserable. Have we found anything yet? Shall we come back after the break with an example? I'm going to come back after the break and then I'm going to give myself a round of applause, all right? 35:19 Thank you, Jo. It is coming up to 12.45. It has to be zzz. Is there any other reason why zzz? I enjoyed that. Lovely laugh. Rebecca is in Manchester. Rebecca, question or answer? 35:31 Answer, please. 35:32 Carry on. 35:34 So the crater, it's actually a brilliant question of why craters are round and it's stumped scientists for years. 35:41 Really? Yeah. Do I owe Alistair an apology then? Yeah. Oh, great. Carry on. 35:48 So when scientists look at the moon, it's full of craters. They're all pretty perfectly circular. And so they were convinced that meant that they were volcanoes. 35:59 But when they threw anything at the sand, as your caller said, they become oval, but never really circular. 36:09 Sure. 36:10 But what happens with an impact crater is the velocity is so extreme and the energies are so high that it explodes on impact. And it's the explosion that creates the crater that's perfectly circular. 36:21 I think I said that. I think I said explosive velocity. 36:25 You did. 36:27 I didn't know what it meant when I said it. I can't lie to you, Rebecca, but someone sent it in and I just repeated it in the hope of accidentally happening on the right question. So it's because it's traveling so fast that it explodes on impact and the explosion creates the creator. 36:42 Yes, it vaporizes the ground and explodes. 36:44 That's sensational. Qualifications? 36:47 So my mum, well, both my parents are geophysicists, but my mum was the first person to measure the impact crater that killed the dinosaurs. 36:55 Shut up. 36:56 Yeah. 36:56 Are you serious? 36:58 Yeah, you can look her up. 36:59 How did she measure it? 37:02 With waves. Where is it? 37:04 In Chicxulub in Mexico. 37:07 And she was the first person to do that? 37:10 So they knew it was there. They didn't know how big it was. They had lots of different theories of how big it was. And yeah, she was the first person to accurately measure it. 37:18 That's so cool. That is so cool. Now we've got... I mean... 37:26 Your mum is still with us, isn't she? Yeah, yeah. This is Professor Joanna Morgan, of course, as everybody listening to this knows, because we are all on this programme. Very familiar with not just the Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event, but also, of course, with the Cretaceous-Paleogene boundary, which is very much your mother's field of expertise. 37:46 But if it was your mum that had rung in, she'd get a Ray Liotta. 37:50 I know. Yeah. 37:52 But I don't know what the rules are. And I know I invented them all, so I probably should. But what are the rules when it involves the daughter of a Ray Liotta? We kind of want to continue the Viking theme, because this will sound quite Icelandic. We want a Ray Liotta dottir, don't we? 38:09 Oh, come on. You've got to get a Ray Liotta for that. Her mum measured the flipping crater. When you tell your mum that you've got a Ray Liotta on Mystery Hour, revealing that she was the first person to measure the... Is it Chicxulub? 38:23 Chicxulub crater. 38:26 Will she look at you in a state of complete confusion? 38:30 Embarrassment. 38:31 Well, there we go. So it's on you this via your mum. 38:33 I'm Ray Liotta and you're listening to James O'Brien on LBC. 38:40 thank you there it is and a round of applause amazing thank you so much thank you so much what an amazing moment as well thank you 12 47 is the time it is 10 to 1 we're going to run out of mystery hour before we've run out of hour i think because we've answered almost everything questions that stood did we find a clip did we find it should we have a little listen to this clip Does that sound zeddy to you? I don't know. You might be undoing my theory here. 39:12 Can we keep looking? I want one like this. 39:21 How many people are nodding off now? I shouldn't do this while you're driving, should I? I bet that exists. You've got to be able to find it. I think it's the exhale. 39:29 Anyway, Jane's in Whitehaven. Jane, question or answer? 39:34 Hi, it's a question, please. 39:35 Carry on. 39:37 I want to know why when footballers score a goal or they're celebrating and they whiz across the grass on their knees, why do they do that? Because if I did that or most people did that, you'd have very, very sore knees. 39:57 Well, you wouldn't if it was wet. 40:01 Are you sure? 40:02 Yeah, positive. 40:05 Well, but they do it when it's dry as well, don't they? 40:08 I don't think they do it. They're not going to do it if it hurts. They'll know from the state of the pitch whether or not it's a good moment to do that or not. If they don't do that, they might, for example, kick the corner flag or something or jump on a teammate. So they're only going to do that when they know that the meteorological conditions are correct. 40:29 Well, I'm not totally convinced because they always... I mean, I don't watch football particularly often. 40:37 Right. And this is your biggest takeaway from the football that you have watched. Why are they doing that? That must chafe. yes there's a lot of chafing on today's mystery there's two lots of chafing with it so it would chafe a lot if you did it on dry grass but they are doing it i mean a they're going to know whether or not it's slippy enough to do it and b the the pitches are quite often watered both before the match and and at half time as well they've got most pitches have got like um sprinklers in them that rise up out of the ground even at kiddie and you know we're not a very rich club 41:09 So do you think when they score the goal and they're absolutely elated because they've scored the goal, they go through the mental process of... No, no, no, no. 41:19 That bit I can answer. 41:22 Yes. 41:22 So imagine you are running as fast as you can. 41:26 Yes. 41:27 And now you need to stop. 41:30 Yes. 41:31 If you stop in normal circumstances, it kind of loses, it ceases to be a very exciting thing to do. You just sort of have to put the brakes on and slow yourself down. If you're running at full speed and you hurl yourself to the floor and carry on sliding along, it's more celebratory, isn't it? Do you see what I mean? 41:50 Yeah. 41:51 so that's why they do it that's why they go down on their knees because the alternative would just be to so you're running as fast as you can you've just scored a goal yeah yes come on come on and then you just sort of slow down until you stop and the cameras are and it just looks a bit weird whereas you skid along the ground and you come to a halt at the end of the skid it's as if it's as if the moat the celebration has never been interrupted until it's over it's great I really like that answer. I'm going to tell you a secret, Jane. 42:21 Eleanor, the producer of this programme, is pulling that face that she pulls when she thinks I'm talking gibberish. 42:27 Well, I'm not convinced. 42:28 Oh, no, she's not. She must have been pulling it for another reason. 42:31 Oh, right. 42:32 Oh, it's because you know what the real reason is. It turns out she really hates the sound of snoring, and I'm making a search for a clip of snoring that sounds like it's honestly. I'm surprised she's not complained to the National Union of Journalists, the charges that I lay upon her today. So, no, that's the answer. The reason they do it is so that they kind of The momentum, they can stop without appearing to break their momentum. And the reason why it doesn't hurt the knees is not to be boring, is because it doesn't hurt the knees. It's slippy enough for them to know that they're going to be fine doing that. There'll be a footballer listening to this who remembers the time he got a bit carried away and tried to do it on a pitch that wasn't moist enough. 43:09 And that did hurt. 43:10 Right. 43:11 But that is obviously not the common experience. 43:14 No. Right. Okay. Okay. 43:16 All right. I'll take that one as well, I think. Jane, thank you very much. I haven't done this. No, you take care. I haven't done that. You haven't got... I love Whitehaven, a lovely part of it. You haven't got one of those northern names, have you, by any chance? 43:28 no no just checking because that's one of the questions that hasn't got an answer why do names like grimshaw and ramsbottom appear uh i mean they're quite lancashire names for me not even yorkshire but i could be wrong 12 55 that one still needs an answer uh we've done the knees we've done the zeds we've done the toilets we've done the polar we haven't done the sunglasses why do polarizing sunglasses turn car rear windows into grids We haven't done the names. I love that question. We've done the craters, we've done the summer clothes, and we haven't done the ghost glasses. 44:00 Guy's in Bury St Edmonds. Guy, question or answer? 44:02 It's an answer, and it's to the toilet question. Oh, be gentle. 44:08 I will be gentle. It's down to a thing, and it might be more relevant at this time with all our droughts and whatever. There's a thing called a systemizer, and what really smells in the dense toilets is the urinals. 44:22 Yeah, correct. 44:23 And if they don't, they're on a timer, and most of these establishments have got on a water meter. 44:30 And it's quite expensive. Some of them work on a, like a monitor that flashes on and off. But a lot of the times they've been turned down. So especially when, like a pub, for instance, when it gets busy, and you've got lots of traffic going in and out, it doesn't flush enough. And then all their stuff in the traps starts to smell. 44:51 And also, overnight, a lot of pubs and places like that, they switch off the systemiser to save water. 44:59 So overnight, you've got all the horrible stuff sort of brewing up in the thing, and that's what calls the smell. 45:05 Of course it is. Yeah, fair. I mean, there it is. And whereas in the ladies, it gets flushed every time it's used. 45:12 Absolutely. There it is. And in airports, you'll notice that there... They automatically flush every time you go to the... Ah, because you don't want smelly toilets in airports. No, and they've got a monitor that does that automatically. 45:25 And the pubs usually, in the olden days, pub toilets were around the back anyway, so, you know... And also, you've got those old... You don't really see them much anymore, but there's one at one of my locals, the old ones, where it's like a trough on the floor. Do you know what I mean? Like the old... So they might be... The ceramic, or they might be metal, even. They might be metal sometimes. Yeah. 45:45 Well, the same thing will happen because they're not flushing enough and there's one trap there. That's even worse, actually, because they've normally got one trap at the end. 45:53 Yeah. 45:54 And it doesn't take a long time for that to, especially in weather like this. 45:57 Yeah, yeah, it's going to stink, isn't it? 45:59 I'm pretty sure that, well, I'm confident that's the answer. 46:02 I'm confident it is too. What are your qualifications? 46:05 I am a bathroom fitter and that encompasses fitting toilets and stuff in pubs. Does it? 46:10 How often do you fit a urinal in a domestic bathroom? 46:15 Very rarely. Only when I've been asked if some, we call them wealthy people, but swimming pools, they'll sometimes have a changing room and they'll have one. 46:24 You'd stick a urinal in your changing room. I think that Adrian Childs has got a urinal in his bathroom at home. 46:30 He does drink quite a lot as well, doesn't he? 46:32 No, not so much anymore. He's talked about that. I mean, he enjoys a pint, of course he does. But he's written very powerfully about his relationship with alcohol. But I think he's also written about having a urinal in his toilet at home in Chiswick. 46:44 Well, that's fantastic. And also, one thing on the urinal, I fitted some in a nursery school. And it was really weird to get my head around it because there was one for the teacher that was set at about 30 inches. And I had to put this one in really low, and I was saying it's too low, and I didn't really... These are like four or five-year-old kids. Yeah, of course. 47:04 I mean, apparently on the floor, wouldn't it? 47:06 Yeah, yeah. 47:07 I like that. 47:08 God, dear. Well, what a job, eh? Love it. 47:10 Thank you. I mean, you've got yourself... I mean, you're not quite in Ray Liotta territory, I don't think, Guy, but I'm going to give you a round of applause for that. Lovely work. 47:21 uh 12 58 is the time you're listening to james but i can squeeze in one more i think roger's in the can i i can't really uh so i need to pick a winner who's going to be the winner today uh i have to try to give it to a man because i keep giving the prizes to a woman because i'm so naturally chivalrous um my problem is my favorite so women are jamie jamie and the ghost glasses yeah should we give it to jamie and the yeah give it to jamie because he didn't get an answer There we go. If you missed any of today's show, you can listen back on our free Global Player app or the LBC app, where you can also stay up to date with all the latest news, videos and opinions. 47:54 You can listen to a range of podcasts, including James O'Brien Daily, the best bits from my LBC show every day. So download the official LBC app for free from your app store now. Coming up at four on LBC, it's Tom Swarbrick, but now it's time for Sheena Phone. 48:06 This has been a Global Player original production.